That's MY BLOG!

should have close my heart.

2010-08-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

these few days. i m down depresed!
i m sad, upset. i wonder why....
i love you and why do u never appreciate me? why?
i hate this kind of feeling! i hate it when u tried to ignore me! i hate it! i hate it!
is that a difficult task to be with u?
i struggle deep inside my heart. i knew u never treat me as good as him.
i m such a bitch. limmer.
why do i suffer myself to fall in love that someone never appreciates me before! why must i?
i m such an idiot! stupid and naive enuf to believe i will change u. but i never. i tried my best to give all the toleration to u. end up, u told me in ur dictionary, doesnt exist the world TOLERATE! wtf is that?
ok. i understand
u never tried to understand never tried to believe me! and the most important, u never appreciates me~
if so, why do i be so silly to fond on u?
VINX, try to learn smart, and be clever. never fall for a man that doesn't appreciates u!
u are such an idiot!
is time to wake up and face the fact that he doesn't love u anymore!

choosing my destiny in my life

2010-05-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

i m blur~ kinda confused~
is it that choosing the one you love, the one u wanted to be together is so difficult?
the one i always wanted to be; the one i always love.
i nearly crazy!!!
but, someone told me, the one u be together aint the one u love the most!
maybe i should agree with it! MAYBE!!
i love you, u approached to me finally!
but the time ain't correct!
maybe, we shouldn't start the relationship! IT's a WRONG!
MAYBE we should maintatin our friendship. forever and ever!
i love you, you knew that!
at the same time. i need him too! i throw myself on him, i rely him.
but u don't know that! i love u, i choose to be with u!
i choosed! i made an option too..
but u failed me~ dissapointed me!
i need someone that could give me the feeling of security!
u can't do it! u never promise anything, maybe it's the best way u wanted to protect me!
it lead me to miserable!
u never tend to gimme a call, or even a SINGLE MESSAGE!
that's over~ i m enough of it!
you are not my destiny, i assume...
i choose my fate; i control my destiny

2 busybody person

2010-01-03T22:04:00.000-08:00

To 2 busybody person..

u know wat? u shouldn't meddle with things that are totally NON of ur BUSINESS!
criticizing people is the worse thing that i hate the most!
gossiping people in front of me will make me disdain and despise u!
since u like to criticize a lot, why don't u go and tell him/her directly instead of citicize them behind them?
do u look more noble if gossiping people around? wat do people think of u?
u have no rights to criticize them just because u are not qualified enough to criticize. u are not better than them, but more worse.
gossiping behind them? makes u more like an idiot.
have some self-analyzment, have some self-critism, have some self-examination.
afterall, u two totally looks like an idiot!!!!
asking people about their personal privacy.. gossiping when people who are in trouble.

u said, it was kinda concern. do u think u really concern them? isn't dat way u should do to them if u really concern them.
SPEAK TO THEM, ADVICE THEM, is the most polite and respectful way u should do to them. aint dat gossip them in front of others, aint dat criticizing in front of others. u two look stupid. damn it! i hate dat so much especially when u talk this kinda thing to me.
god damn it! mind ur words, mind ur behaviour. if not, sooner or later, i m fucking sure dat u will be in trouble with someone else.

to the 2 busy body around, mind ur words, stop criticizing, i get bored and upset when this keep on going! stop it before ur mouth triggers the god mad on ya~

nice sentence

2009-12-29T06:11:00.000-08:00

if u judge a people, u will have no time to love them.
in a day, when u don't come across any problems, you can be sure that u are travelling a wrong path.
if someone feels that they have never make a mistake in their life, then it means they had never tried a new thing in their life!
never break four thing in our life, trust, relation, promise & heart. because when they break, they don't make noise but pain a lot.
three sentece for getting success : know more than others, work more than others, expect less than others!
if u win, u need not have to explain, when u loose, u should not be there to explain.
if we cannot love the person whom we see, then how can we love god, whom we can't see?
everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

words

2009-12-28T20:17:00.001-08:00

the words that u said out from ur mouth, will cause a lots of unpleasant things to occurs.
words... once u pop out from ur mouth, it is very hard to keep it back.
mind your words simply saying out a words. sometimes, u will cause ppl to pissed off. but u duno. u dunno that u had already make dat fellow pissed off.
dun say that u were accidentally, dun apologise, think twice before u simply say out a word.
simply complain about the others, will make people to despise u. u complain about the others, doesn't make u more noble.
doesn't make u more better.
dun criticise about others when u dun have any self analyzement. have some self estimation before u wana complain about the others.
u will look down by the others, and will depise by the others when this bull shit of attitude and behaviour keep fucking going on u!
it was worst! totally sucks, and bull shit!

the third party pops out~

2009-11-27T22:48:00.000-08:00

the third-party pops out.
try to tackle me. try to do everything just hope to win my heart.
brought me to the beach, and we chit-chatting.
on the way he brings me back to my hostel. he grab my hand.
i take off my hand. he grab again, again and again.
he told me, he want to be with me although he knew that i had a boy friend. swt... =.="
speechless...
i had no idea with what he is going to do with me.
i feel unsafe when wana be with him. he is such a jerk.
if i choose to be with him, i had done it in a early years~
he just can't understand why i don't accept him. coz, i will probably not fall in love with him. fall in love with those who treat me like a toy. like a barbie doll.
i feel no sincere in his heart. he is not sincere to me.
he keep begging and calling me to be with him. then i asked him 3 question:
1. why do u want to be with me?
2. what will u do after u are bored with me? just dump me? will u promise me to take care of me forever and ever?
3. can u tolerate with my temper? will u tolerate someone's temper since ur temper is not good enuf?
he turns silent. he said, early judgement just will ruin things up. time will prove everything that he really cares for me. if the time does, it will jz prove dat he is just a liar!
a liar that try to fool me around.
i ask him whether will he be regret someday if we really be together. he said, he will tell me. he will let me know. then he probably will dump me. i assume.
let me ask u a question, am i stupid enough to let u fool? am i naive enuf to let u play like a barbie doll? well, let me answer it, i m not. i will not let u play and fool like an idiot. stop ur idiotic action, as this will really make me despise u.~~

the whole world knew tat i love my boyfriend. yes, i admit! yes, i do! i love him more than i can say, i love him more than anything in this world.
between u and him, i can't make any comparism.
coz, u are not qualify enough~~~~~

after PR presentation

2009-11-12T07:15:00.000-08:00

it's been a happy day for me to finish all my assignment and presentation of Durex. I had been working so hard to do for that. and finally, it has a very happy ending. I feel relief. lecturer said, i presented well and our group are creative.
i m happy today!

classroom

2009-11-10T21:13:00.001-08:00

i m now sitting in the classroom, listening to the presentation.
i just finished my presentation.. because, i m too boring
then with my eye facing my own laptop, it just can't stop my hand not to touch my baby laptop. so, i open my laptop, click the wireless network, click the internet explorer..
and now i was playing facebook games, the farmville. and writting blog
just now i had pinch my fren, CFK.. hehe.. now.. i am planning to beat him up!
fang kai, wait me to wallap and whack u!

i m fucking happy today!

2009-11-09T00:30:00.001-08:00

today is the best memorable day for me to memories!
jz because i fool somebody around and when u look at their expression~ fuyo.. that kind of feeling is unexplainable! yohoo...
conclusion,
i m fucking happy today!

rainning.

2009-11-04T02:12:00.000-08:00

rain rain go away..
is now rainning. i love rainning. coz i can hybernate~ wakakaka..
bye everybody, i m going to hybernate.
if u got important thing, pls dun call me.
not very important thing, also dun call me.
less impertant thing, lagi tak payah call me.
dat's it! bye

rascal princess

2009-11-04T02:05:00.000-08:00

isn't she adorable?
isn't she cute?
isn't she rascal?
that's my rascal princess.. that i loved the most!
she is my loving domesticated pet.
i love creamoz.

the day u went back

2009-11-04T01:02:00.000-08:00

the day u went back..
i was sad, i was down.
i cried. u care, and dat's the major reason i love ya...
u keep on console me!
comfort me..
when i was writting this blog.. is rainning outside. rainning heavily...it was freezing outside.
the tree was swaying and the wind was blowing..
i was alone sitting in front of the computer.. facing the computer lonely.
i was browsing through the picture that we've captured.
i miss u a lot! i miss u more than i can say..
in my heart,was a very deep foot-print, printed on my heart permanently.
i shall never forget, all the passes that we've been through.
how we built up this tough and strong relationship. just me and you...
i admited that i love you more than anything in this world. and i will carry on loving u.
the day u went back, i was upset. really upset!
i sent u to bus stop. nearly cry. i hold it. i knew u dislike. so, i rather hold it.
the journey to the bus stop was short. i told u, i miss u when we are in the car. u said, me too.. =)
i m happy.
when u r entering the bus, u gave a goodbye kiss. my tears fall down.
i miss u, dear!

well, i do expect for the next visit from u. coz, without u, there will be no spiritz for me. no colourful colour that will colour up my life, it will surely be dull, i assume..

a cool wheather...

2009-10-28T04:47:00.000-07:00

this makes me remembered the momment that my dear hubby and i went to genting highlands. he keep holding my hand and warmed me with him warmth temperature. i had dissolve and melt in his caring. keep pouring me hot water and more...
on the day we been to genting, we share ice-cream together in the afternoon. he cares me a lot. i love dason, i love u more than i can express....

what a day...

2009-10-27T04:01:00.000-07:00

today, nothing speacial happened.
wake up as usual.bath as usual.
wear clothes as usual.
feed my little rascal princess as usual.
going to school as usual.
attending class as usual.
eat lunch as usual.
talking craps as usual.
bully my friends as usual.
end class then go home as usual.
eat my dinner as usual.
online "facebook" as usual.
then chit chat with my dear as usual.
sleep as usual.
end of the story.

i never thought that..

2009-09-09T00:10:00.001-07:00

i never thought that things will changed!
but the things that oni i can calm myself down, was the earth is still spinning, and times goes by and by~
i never thought that the u will changed, and the relationship between us just vanished like this~
u r sucks! totally sucks~
i m speechless. totally speechless. i had nothing to said about! even when i wants to express my feel to u in my blog, i got nothing to write about it! because, u r worthless for me. u r not worth for me to treat u as a frenz anymore! even a frenz... u r not qualified!
u r small, u r stingy, u r an idiot!
the word dat can really describe is sissy~dat's the only words that can describe~ sissy+ bitchy=? anymore fantastice word that can fully describe u??
to me, u r nothing but a piece of shit!
i shall never turn my head back on u! i swear..
and friendship is over!

i shall never believe again!

2009-08-18T04:28:00.000-07:00

i shall never believe again..
neither u nor who.. will be the same~
what is the purpose for me to believe such stupid thing?
believe and treat with sincere heart? determined to change every behaviour that i act!
and what i receive is silences~
what do u think?
i shall never feel lonely. i shall never feel alone!
i was never alone! i will never be alone!
i feel like ignoring u, coz u r totally worthless for me to treat u good~
suddenly, u remind me some words that u spoke out about a girl...
u remind me a girl~
hahah~ what a funny thing.
maybe i am not as good as her, maybe i am not qualified enuf, maybe u think that the relationship that built between us was not tough enuf~
the distance between us, gone farer and farer.. is it the thing that u expected?
if ur answer for me is yes, i shall keep my mouth silent!
why dun u jz express it out and see what was really happening between us?
i was mad, totally mad! utterly mad about this!
i feel so stupid to myself~
i give up...
i tried so hard to change things between us, but u act perfunctorily, and expect people to accept it? i tried, i failed~
whatever things that will going to happen, i will just ignore it!
and whatever happens, accept it with naturally~
u dun dare to face it, then something will vanished!
i assume u as a coward.
i shall never put any other hope again. NEVER!
we will still remain the same level...
i think it was the suitest position for u and me!

wondering?

2009-08-16T00:05:00.000-07:00

wondering, why everything around my circumstance had changed?
wondering ,why you looks dull all the time?
wondering ,why the distance between us had gone farer and farer?
wondering that do u strenghten our friendship before?
wondering the way u speak is the real of u?
wondering what had brought us far apart?
wondering why do you act like a stranger?
wondering and wondering...
i was never to give up this friendship.
but everythings seems like changing and changing...
the earth is spinning 365 days 24 hours, circumstance between us will change for sure.
do i really loathed by u?
do i looks like an idiot to u?
do everything need to be so harsh to me?
i am tired, i need to rest..
just let everything goes naturally and i will accept it...

i din mean that..

2009-08-05T06:32:00.000-07:00

i didnt mean dat..
ok, firstly...
u are the one who dun wan to talk to me!
do u really think that i am so curmudgeonly? do u think i am small? do u think i am petty?
NOWAY! pls dun just mark me as small as u think!
i wont simply angry for someone that din do anything wrong?
if i do act like dat, then one question that i am goin to ask u~
is it the VINX dat u know?
i keep queit just because u dun want to speak with me~
u pretend like u are dumb.. FINE~ u want to play then i shall accompany u with the game!
wednesday~ u seems like dun wan to talk with me~ then i will keep my mouth shut~
then thursday~ u dun wan to talk with me~ no topic for us to chat! fine again~
friday~ u din even send me anything or telling how r u goin back or wat~ FINElar~ then i just go back myself, without u!
sunday, u asked me how to go back? then i just reply u~~ how am i going back
u din even send me some msg that u wan some people accompany u back to kampar~ u din even mentioned! so, how do u expect people to know wat r u thinking? i am not god! dun expect too much from me!
my dear,
i wont and never angry about u~ what is the point for me to angry u? give me one reasonable reason!
pls, is just somemisunderstood between us~
wake up on tomolo morning, and the distance between us shall get closer~~
good night and sweet dreamz~

to whom who likes to show off

2009-08-04T06:58:00.000-07:00

to whom who like to show off oftenly....
who do u think u are?
do u think that u r that good?
is isn't u are the best.. is just that ur partner are good! and it doesn't mean anything for me. is useless when u trying to show off in front of me and this will really make me to despise u!
if u are that good, pls make sure that u will get married and really have a happy ending..
if not.. it will be a real shammed on u!
i dun really envy u for being so pround of ur partner...
i knew dat i dun have, but i believe in my true love, he will succeed one day. he will do much more better than u! much more better!
dun try to keep promoting about how good he is, how rich he is, how wonderful he is.. pls, prove that after ur marriage.

u fucking idiot!

2009-08-04T06:45:00.000-07:00

ok, if u keep on pretend to be a deaf n dumb person..
u'd better be a real physical disability person!
i hate when u treat me like a transparency person! i am not a transparent person, i dun eat glass!
i am sitting in fron of u, n u r acting ur fucking bossy action! is irritating and i loathe it!
i am innocent and i dunno what was going on?
i din even notice wat had i done wrongly? if i do really done something wrongly, pls open ur fucking mouth to let me know! is dat so hard for u to tell me ?
okay.. u act like a piece of shit~ pls dun try to show off, dun try to act bossy and noble in front of me..
pls try not to act like a boyish type in front of me coz u are not the type of it! sissy means sissy! dun try to act those stupid action since this will really make u a very odium man!
the type that u are acting now not suit for u... u are a real sissy!!!!!!!!!
fuck it!
and to those who read my blog, if is totally non of ur busines, and u know who am i talking about, pls dun be a busybody girl come and have some theoristic problem with me..
is useless~~coz u will know wat and who am i talking about!
if is non of ur business, pls fuck off!

i never see such a sissy person before!

2009-07-30T04:37:00.000-07:00

i never see such a sissy person before..
wondering why he wana snatch to do all those girls stuff from me~~
i assume dat he tought to be like dat ~ ok, and that's fine !
but the worst is..
whenever he do those stuff.. he think that he is so brilliant!
and he expects he wont do something wrongly..
wat the...
!#$&*(*&^%%$
i hate him so much! he thinks dat he can manage everything!
fuck it !
and those things that he done out just like a piece of shit!
no, i mean is worst than shit!

pls mind ur words!

2009-07-20T07:10:00.000-07:00

to the one who speak rudely in tarcian..
excuse me..
pls mind ur words.. coz u are acting no manners there..
if u keep on ur naive and lame words, u just act like a joker..
pls dun simply take their parents and said that they don't teached them well....
i assure u that u have no parents to teached u that isn't dat? hahaha...
since u think my mom doesn't teached me well..
well, i give u a chances to teach me. ok?
hahahaha... act stupid for people to despise u! funny~~~

excuse me, sir~

2009-07-20T06:06:00.000-07:00

excuse me sir~~
pls answer in a polite way when somebody is questioning u in a very polite way.
excuse me sir~~
pls do not failed to answer in a polite way when the person who talks to you in a sincere way!
excuse me sir~~
pls try not to dare others temper while her temper are under control!
excuse me sir~~
u aint that person mom, even u are, u still failed to predict when her temper blow off!
excuse me sir~~
don't ever insist to challenge people's temper as u are a losser!
excuse me sir~~
try not to counselling people and talk craps!
excuse me sit~~
try not to counselling people and thinks that u are much more noble and experienced than the others!
excuse me sir~~
pls dun speak jesus or lord in front of me, coz i am a FIEND!!
excuse me sir~~
pls dun act stupidly, as ur action are perfunctory!
excuse me sir~~
pls mind ur words and make sure that ur words that came out from ur fucking mouth doesn't hurt people feels!
EXCUSE ME SIR~~
i am here to say to you'll, pls dun act stupidly in front of me as i will treat u like a nerd and despise u! dun try to challenge my temper as my temper are under my control. if u insist to do so, dare it with ur own risk! and i prayed to you, pls dun act like a god and talks like the way father talks! i will fed up of ur dumb actions!

my tatoo..

2009-07-19T21:47:00.000-07:00

My tatoo...

obviously.. u can see in the picture..

there is a big differences in these two pics.

the first tatoo, i done in since i was 16 years old, form 4 dat time..and it cost about 180 and takes about 1 hour to finish...this stupid fellow dat tatoo for me... is a dumb idiot stupid guy!! waste my time, my money and make me suffer.. hate him so much!

the second one, it cost me about 300, and it takes about 6 hours to complete the mess.. i can see from that.. the tatooist that tatoo-ed for me.. he's proficient in tatoo...he had almost 10 years experience and good in art design.. and then he told me.. said dat the guy who tatoo for me, only learns about two to three months, and his tatoo skill is damn holly shit!=="

my god... suffer for 6 hours.. and at last.. it complete.!! and i am satisfy with it!

and that is my tatoo..

is marriage relevant with two family?

2009-07-18T19:26:00.000-07:00

Is MARRIAGE relevant with two family?
this is the question that keep on playing in my mind.
my brother asked me...
do u really wana be with him?
since his family background is exactly the same with urs?
do u really think that he will suit u?
u need to backup all the things once u had married with him! marriage isn't dat as simple as u think! marriage consider two families that need to combined! once u had married, a lot of things u need to fufill or manage... (as u already knew dat his family background!)
if u aint going to married with him, then why u want to be with him? aren't dat is just a waste of time?
this stupid question keep playing in my mind...
i was exhausted...
i nearly collapse..
the relationship between us nearly crumble.
i can see that...
u work so hard but still can't fufil my desire.
i was selfish, i am greedy to have more hope on u!
i count on ya... and pls hope that u won't failed me!! and never fail me!
pls...
DUN U EVER FAILED ME..

sorry, i apologize

2009-07-18T19:10:00.000-07:00

mom,
sorry, i apologize...
i knew i was too over about it.. i never bother about your feeling...
i am sorry coz i had hurt u so badly... i apologize for being rude to you..
i knew since the day i borned, u work so hardly, independently just to grew us up..
i had a useless dad, the whole world knews about it.. even my cousin, who keep counselling us to respect our dad, everything.. and now totally give up. wat a terrible dad..
mom,
i really regret for what i have done these days..
i act as a spoiled child. i was so terrible... i really never care or mind about how stress or pressure u are!! i was worst!
i never learn to respect and even appreciate what you have done for me...
and now,
i've notice and i will try my best to be a filial daughter..
i will protect u...
i will care u...
i will concern u..
i will try to communicate with you...
i will solve my own problem without disturbing you..
i will strike for my result.. to show u and i want u to proud of me..!!
i shall never grumble for what u have given to me!!
NEVER!
again,
sorry i say...

i quarrel again with u...

2009-07-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

why do i have to quarrel with u all the time?
i am tired enough to quarrel with u... really tired.
today,
i am asking a penny from u... and u grumble...
i send a message:
do u think that i spent so much? the money that u are goin to send for me is the middle month money isn't it? do u think that 70 will be enough? fine now, i dont need u to send me the money anymore, i will figure out myself... my 500 i spend it on my NEW PHONE, do u satisfy with the answer? u knw wat? i HATE when i take money from u, i hate to quarrel. if i m given the chances to choose, for sure i will choose not to take from u. do u nmotice that i was starving because i save money for other usage? one more question, u ask in ur heart, do u think u r fair enought for threathening me? can i assume that the money u gave is a concern or a love from u? so, from now onwards, no matter when u give me money, or what is the amount of the money, or even u dun feel like giving the money, it will be ok for me. i will not beg like a beggar and hear something that irritates my ear.
second message:
u keep compare and compare me with the others. oppsitely, do i make a comparation between u with others? all i knew was, i had one mom, the only one. i shall never deny it. i saw something that warm my heart. i saw my housemate, her whole familycame and visit. she lost her phone, then i was thinking, that if i lost my phone, for sure u will scold me like hell and not just bring me the phone without grumble. am i right? and ther parents brought her a new phone! their concern for their daughter are much more than i expects. it touches my heart deeply. touches the deepest place in my heart. i shall never imagine that one day my parents will do that. cause i knew the circumstances doesn't allowed me to imagine it. reason? coz i had an utterly hopeless useless dad. i didn't blame anyone as well. all i want was, a little concern or even a sharing love from u?
*do i sound selfish?
then, ur reply:
i already told u that from last few months, u have to understand or appreciate when i gave u the money, u never say thank you. *do i taught to say thank u? i have to pay may's expenses too, don't be selfish and think only for urself like ur dad. *i din ask for more. never bother to call me if u have money*i was wondering that, do u call me either?, u sms me when u need money, everybody knows that. what am i? an atm machine?*if u insist to think that, i am speechless.. last time i used to bank in for u by 20th every month, can't u remember that? u said u settle urself, u thought u are so capable without taking the rm 500?* are u daring me? do u really think i will dead without you? did u beg me early this month when we are not talking?* u said we are not talking, and if i beg means? u will ignored!! when i beg, the irritating words for sure will come out from ur mouth! u didn't call me during that time, did u beg me? moreover, ur dad didn't even give me a single cent to me. now we are in debt, borrowing from othres, don't u know? be grateful person, dun grumble too much!

i am very dissapointed in what u have write today...
i thought wat i've express will really makes u understand.
but, it makes the distance farer...
i am down, sad... speechless...

i saw something that warm my heart..

2009-07-11T08:25:00.002-07:00

today, i saw something that really touches my heart deeply..
i never feel so warm before..
today, i was wathcing tv in my living room.. then here comes the car.. and somebody was walking into our house.
then i saw one familiar shadow.. my housemate's brother...
ohh.. the whole family was here..
i rush up quickly and inform them that her parents was here...
she "fly" down from upstair... she screamed happily..
she starve for her family to visit..
she looking foward for every weekend... just hoping that she can go back as soon as possible...
and now.. her family had fufil her desire... a visit to our house..
she looks so happily..
her family even bring the dogs here.. her baby..
her family bought her the phone... a new phone, just because she lost her phone. ( i asked myself, i din lost my phone, my phone was being robbed! i was injured! and why i dun have a phone?)
i din blame for anyone... i can't blame anyone... I CAN'T BLAME ANYONE... all i knew is, i born in this family, i grew up like dat and i am like dat!! I BORN TO BE LIKE THAT!!
her family purposely brought the phone from taiping to kampar... just to give her the phone...
and they left...
i envy them...
i harbour my grudge against her...
i really starve for some love...
just a little love that come from my family.. just a simple visit will do! just a call will do! just a message will do! just a warm concern will do... it sounds impossible...
WAKE UP VINX!!! STOP DREAMING!! LIVE IN REALISTIC!
but... it seems impossible... totally impossible...
my dad, a useless hopeless guy with nothing but a bad temper.
my mom... love her third daughter more than anything in this world..
this would be totally impossible for my whole family to come and visit me, even just for once??
love love love and love... what is love?
family love? no (how do u classified it as family love since there is no one concern about u?)
lovers love? no (how do u get love since ur loved one keep busy for work?)
friend love? no (do you get a friendship easily? if u din betrayed by them, u can smile for that!)
i had no love..
so pls dun critisize me saying tht i am harsh or mean..
sorry to say that... i dun trust love..
i had no love... and i dun believe in whatever true love in this world!
THERE IS NO TRUE LOVE!

u deserves better

2009-07-11T06:51:00.000-07:00

i am not worth for you to do so many things for me.. it's worthless...
first of all, i had a very good boyfriend..
it's utterly useless for you to do so many things for me..
i appreciated it so much.. i thank u sincerly..
although..
i like to way u protected me, the way u care about me, the way u mind about me, the way u concern about me... i love all the way u treat me..
but,
i can't accept you just because the fate didn't put us together..
u pop out in the circumstance whenever i had a very good relationship..
chances had been given for last three years, u didn't appreciate it just because u are more to friendship..
can't u feel that three years ago, i had dropped a hint for ya...
the way u talk, i can notice that u knew it too.. u knew that very well... u din grab for the chances..
opportunity will not be given twice. sorry..
this is why i said that fate din lead us together...
last three years, many things happened between me and him, u didn't notice.
whenever i wana tell u, my words just can't come out in my mouth.. speechless...totally speechless!
today, u invite me to go for a trip to thailand with u.. but, i am sorry to say that. i can't go...
i apologize. i had a boyfriend. and for sure, my boyfriend will surely not allowed that!
i will not breach the agreement that my boyfriend and i made.
i am sorry to say that...
i am not worth for you to treat, concern and even care about me..
u deserves better..

my dear friend...

2009-07-09T17:16:00.000-07:00

my dear dear friend..
pls love yourself as u knew that someone are still concerning about you..
pls love yourself as u knew that I still really care about you...
pls love youserlf as u knew that ur parents still mind about you...
pls promise me that you will love yourself and pls dun make people keep worrying about you..
i care our friendship, i will never let go such a friend like you..
i knew that you love ur parents too.. i knew that u still mind about me too...
you had promised me that u will never touch those things again... never and ever...
pls dun hurt my feelings as i really do appreaciate this friendship...
pls dun hurt my fragile heart as i really care about this friendship...
i dun wan to see you hurting urself again and again..
dun u ever go and find another excuses or reason to put urself again in those things ever!!!!
i am glad that you had promised me that you will abstain from those things and alcohol..
thank you for promising me and warm my heart...
and now.. i am waiting ur return to my side...

am i wrong?

2009-07-07T18:42:00.000-07:00

idiot person...
i hate what i hate..
pls dun speak sarcastically..
mind your words before u saying out this nonsense!!
now, i hate the circumstance around me!! just because of u, dun u ever try to be unpolite and deal with my temper...PATIENCE HAVE ITS LIMITATION! TRY ME IF YOU DARE...

here comes the "person" who speaks alot... u keep tellin and tellin saying dat i am a person who spending so much! oh ok... i let it go.. it's ur mouth, i dun mind, i dun care.. just go ahead and say it watever u like and watever u wish!! and now, here comes the subsequent.. and, u are happy with it?? ask it back urself, do u satisfy wat had u said before? are u happy with the ending dat ended up with a mess?

secondly, there is a busy-body person who like to craps alot with his fucking mouth.. yaya, as a dad.. u r jz concerning your son.. and u judge a person without any evidence? and u conclude it with ur very own word? what a human being.. and i knew dat..coz u are a "kampung uncle". i can understand well.. i dun mean to resemble you very much.. u dun worth it.. and u r not worth for it... ask back urself, who u r? do u worth it?

thirdly, the uncle's child.. yeah.. dating with someone... and for sure.. tellin these nonsense to his love ones..

nevertheless, here she came with an abrupt way.. criticizing, complaining something that she dislike, she hated! ask back urself.. do u act good all the way long? do you tend to change things over? do u really are a good person with very good manners? am i apart of ur family members? do i retaliate u before when u do really done something very troublesome? i do show my concern to u!

and lastly.. here comes with the one who crapsing around and "Very HAPPY" with the ending.. it just comes back to you, my dear....

when it comes it back, pls just shut ur mouth up coz i am innocent.. i am innocent for waht i have done.. u r irritating me, and i get very furstrated of it!
U, give a little penny and expecting dat i could save it? do u notice when i am starving? i saved the money for other ussage.. i spent the money on something that is a shit to u,but for me, is a love from u.
from small, maybe i am not a very good child to u.. u sent me away since i was 11.. u keep giving me money since i was small.. yeah.. maybe u think that situation is much more suitable for me... its just ur thinking. i din object as well.. well, as ur wished, i had been sent out from my home sweet home..
and there is a distance between us till now..
till now, i am a very troublesome child.. and yet, u gives no love for me.. the only loves that i receive from , is ur money...
that is the only love that u could give me! that is the only thing...
and now, i am speechless... totally no idea with what i have done..
i knew dat u had been working very hard for these few years.. just to fufill our desire..
u had put a lot of aspiration for me! u care and u mind everything! it's hard for u, a women, carry up such heavy responsibility.. i thanked u.. i do appreciated it very very much!
so..... pls dun ever hurt my fragile little heart dat doesn't means to u...
i am sorry to what i've done.. i dun mean to hurt u..
i am here just to express what i dislike and doesn't mean to hurt u..
i am sorry, mom.....

my birthday

2009-06-25T04:13:00.000-07:00

thank you to all my frenz dat had been celebrated with me on my 19th birthday.
to leon, thank you of ur cake, i love it so much!
esp to bi, thank you for ur plantinum necklace... i love it so much, i never receive such expensive present before...
to those that wana to celebrates my birthday with me so desperately, that doesn't give me any respond.. hahahaha... and this wat we call as sincere..??!!!
U, crapsing around, bull shitting around... at last, U DONE NOTHING~

i thought that u will be doing something differently, something more special for me, just for me.. but then, no at all...
that is utterly dissapointed! u pop out in our circumstances, u appeared to be the third-party, u tried to spoiled and ruinned everything.. but, i tell u, YOU HAD FAILED to do that..
coz u are totally a looser.. a useless with no balls, no guts guy.. chances had been given, opportunity will only gave to those who are well-prepared.. ask it urself, had u prepared it well?
at least a person that is more useless.. had done something more wonderful, more cheerful, to cherish my birthday, to brighten up my day...
tonight, i will be going to johor and celebrate with my dearest hubby, dason...
so... everything will be going fine and wonderful...
my birthday wishes, is to be a more tougher girl in my future..

my birthday present

2009-06-23T22:06:00.000-07:00

thanks my dear fren.. the present that u gave me, i love it so much!
i never receive such expensive and warm heart present before... js because of u.. YOU gave me this memorable present. i will wear it on my neck, forever and ever...
i love this present so much!!!
i know that u were true and sincere to me... me too..
i can feel it.. i can see it...
thanks again for the present...

is that consider as "care"?

2009-06-18T02:16:00.000-07:00

hhmmmm.. wat should i classified u? stupid? idiot? dumb? no balls? no guts? nerd?
ohh... when i am sharing something that i really desperated to share with u... the responds that u gave...
dun embarresed me...
wat the fuck? wat kind of stupid sentence is that? are u insane?
YOU... studying the same course with me.. u said u had no time...
i embarresed u? u are the one who embarresed me...
u have no guts, to participate the competition and keep on crapsing around..

i am not that worst...

2009-06-18T01:43:00.000-07:00

i am not that worst...
i knew this since after i participate the competition..
all the time, i thought that i am the worst compared to all of the contestant..
i thought every participation are good in english.. they can express themself very well, they are good enough, they speak fluent and perfect english, with no chinese slang.... and everythings..
and today i knew dat, i beat them flat, except for one of the contestant in my group. she is good, good intonation, no granmar mistake, no chinese slang.. i love her english!!
in my group, i am the second highest marks of all..
so, i was wondering whether can i make that to final and win as a champion? i want to make it..
Today,
in the public speaking, i heard one contestant present about confidence..
so, i must be confidence enought to myself..anyway, i am not that bad.. that is the things that i am glad.
truely emphasize that.. I AM NOT THAT BAD!!
looking foward on tomorrow result.. if i can make it to the final.. i wan to be the best and beat the rest!! I WILL DO THAT & I MUST DO THAT!!! and that is the target that i need to achieve...

i've made my decision...

2009-06-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

i've made my decision... to choose my mr right..
i know i've made a brilliant choice... and by choosing u, make me feel so warm..
third party pop out in the circumstance...
i was wondering and wondering... should i compare you with him? i asked myself again again and again.. until i feel exhausted for being such a stupid person.
i shall never take u and him to compare, never!
u are much more better than him.. u care me more than anything in this world, u love me more than anything in this world.
and this is the thing that i always hope for.
i shall never breach the agreement, promise that we've made together.. NEVER!!
i shall confine these dumb problems now!
i will swear for u.. i will promise, asserts that i will love u more than anything, more than i can say.

public speaking

2009-06-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

public speaking make me a real head-ache..
i was wondering that should i quit from the competiton... since every contestant is so good, and i am the worst of all...
i get so stress because of this stupid public speaking..
my tears went down for once just because i was about to get crazy because of all these pressure and tension..
at last, i'd my friend's encourage.. he encourage me that i should be brave. i musn't give up so easily before i have my try. that ain't my style. i am not a losser. i just can't quit before having a try?
if i lose for the competiton, i will accept it. this is all about experiences.. i will gain experience in this public speaking contest. i will try my best and beat the rest.
if u r trying to tease for being not qualified enough to join this competition, then u're totally wrong.
because, i have the guts to enter this competiton, and u doesn't.
if u can judge people, then u are very well educated.. and most probably, those nonsense won't come out from ur fucking mouth.
and if these fucking words do come out from your mouth, no matter how high educated are u, for me, u are just a piece of shit!

i had moved out!

2009-05-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

april 15th, i moved in to my new hostel in kampar!
a real nice house..
moving in with my frenz, her puppy, and my puppy, creamoz.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
may 14th, i moved out! because of "U" dun wan to pay the deposit...
i beg u again and again to pay the rental... and in return, u answer me that u are moving out without caring other's feeling! u are selfish!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
on may 8th, we went back to take our ubs payroll test.. and i forgot to bring my bankcard to pay the deposit...
and U ignore the pay too....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
may 10th, uncle, the renter called me to pay for the deposit and asked for the IC...
i can't manage to give it to him.. i delay it!
u totally ignore..
we delay the pay....
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
may 11th, i called u and ask for the money... u said no money...
i called uncle again... asking for his acc number..he gaves me.... he rushed me to pay the pay dat we promised to him!
i get frustrated... angry... i lost my temper and rush u to pay the money.. must pay the money before 15th... bank in to my account before 15th.. i totally ignore ur situation! coz everytime u gaves me excuses... hopeless excuses... is right for me to ignore it! it is worthless for me to hear all fucking crapsing... is bull shit!
i am angry because :

u break ur promise to pay for the rental
i ask u to keep the money for the rental, and u din success to keep
i BEG u to pay for the rental... ( i dun beg people)
when i am getting mad... u make me mad just like pouring the oil on the burning fire...
u said u are moving without paying a single coin, totally ignore people's feeling, without caring people situation
u are the one who said u are moving out, but then u are the one who called me and ask me why i wan to move out.. U ARE WEIRD, ODD

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

finally, i make up my mind.... my last decision..

better move out as soon as possible to prevent me, myself involves in those stupid and annoying problemssss again!!

i dun like problems... and, u create problems for me...

problems frenz, troublesome frenz, wat is the use for making frenz with them?

i hate people who bluff me, cheat on me... i hate it too much! and u, redo and redo it again until i am fed up... i am tired for being ur frenz... is too tired... it's time for me to do some relaxtion, i give up this friendship!

i thanked u for teaching me so many morale about humans in this world. thanked u for teaching me not to trust frenz ever...

my frenz betray me before, and u fool me.. i am stupid for u to fool me again and again! i admit it. i will learn from it. thanks for teaching me these comman sense...

I have choosen the wrong frenz in my life...

2009-05-11T23:59:00.000-07:00

what is friendship? for the sake of friendship, will u willing to sacrifice anything?? but, is it worth for u to sacrifice all the things for "the friend" who being so useless, unresponsible???
firstly, the major things that i wan to tell all of u... becareful when u wan to know a real frenz! is it hard to know and recognise ur frenz deeply.. as my example... let me tell all of u a real story of mine..
i know a friend.... who act like a piece of shit!!
spending money just like her home printing cash.. wow.. and, this is totally non of my business about how is she going to spend her money.. but, the things dat influence me is her attitude..
okay, we are staying together.. sharing, renting a house together with our new puppy, creamoz and milky..
before we stay together... i already consider about this question.. trying to ask myself.. again and again.. "am i really supposed to stay with her? since she always break people's promise.. and being brainless all the time?" why i said dat she is totally brainless? becoz, she will plan a things without thinking wat situation she is.. let us take an example.. her dad gaves her rm 500 per month. and she will spent about rm600-700... over the bajet of hers.. without thinking the subsequences..
i had already trying to convince myself thousands of times... just dun wan to believe the facts. the facts tat she is being so unresponsible, so useless and hopeless!!!!
and finally, we moved together...
is about less than two months we moved in.. problems comes to me..
and she is really a troublesome people...
our renter.. let us to owe the money because we had not enough of money to pay him. and we already PROMISE to pay back the renter on may after we get the money from our parents..
ok.. this is the things dat we promise...
then when May comes.. I HAD ALREADY PREPARED the money to be given to the renter...
and when i ask from my frenz... she said.. sorry.. she had no money at all!!!
i ask.. how bout rm300?? she said NO.. then she got money to go to kl.. and oni bring 200 to kl.. and rm 200.. wat is dat? cash or hell's money? no money can go to kl.... wow...impressive .. and i ask and ask until i am getting frustrated..getting fed up about her.. totally dissapointed!!!
and then she say she wana to move out.. without paying a single coin!!!
do u think the renter will let us move out if we din pay for a single thing?? everybody knows the answer.. right?
well well well... now... i am getting very fed up about this girl!!!
nvr trust a friend who break ur promise again and again!
this is the morale tat i success and the only things dat i learn from her.. i thanked her for letting me this knowledge...

the day i get robbed...

2009-05-08T22:02:00.000-07:00

the day i get robbed by two robbers was saturday...
i am so careless.. and this is all my fault. triggers my boyfrenz suffer with me.. dear.. i am so sorry... i am really sorry...
the day was a very hot afternoon.. i went to city square with my dear... go there for some shopping.. becuse sitting the whole day at home will really turn me into crazy.. so we decided to go for some walk at the mall there..
he got his leg hurt last friday before we get injured by those fucking robbers! he got his leg injured and his leg is recovering... we took a motor ride to the mall... u know, ridding on a motor makes more romances....hahahaha.... although it is so damn hot out there.. but we still prefer to ride motor, because the car park in the mall is a blood sucker.. they charge very expensive...so, riding motor is the suitest choice ever...
after shopping.... my frenz called me to go back to bkt indah to eat laksa...
and my dear is driving the motor and we were chatting happily...discussing where are we going to eat afterwards... the momment were great!
unfortunately...
we were riding dat time....
suddenly, a motor, kawasaki, black colour with two fucking malay pig robbers... drived at out left hand side so near... and the motor's noise was so loud!!!! i am shocked!
only a few cm and they will hit us!!! and this time... the guy who was sitting at the back there.. trying to take out his hand and....
i still wondering, what is he going to do with his hand??? off my motor engine?? swt... =.=" i wonder why i had such stupid idea...after i pop out this stupid idea in my mind, then only i am concious ... knowing that my bag is in front of the motor basket... i was about to scream dat time... he watched at me eye to eye..
and without some mercy heart, the fucking guy kick our motor(the ford there..) with his mean cruelty heart!!! i hate him!! caused my leg and my hand injured.... T.T
i was so pain until i cannot sleep for the whole long night.... crying... is useless!!!
i hate robbers!! dun let me to see u again! i curse u!!!
i believe dat the GOD will PUNISHED u one day..
i really hope the day will come!!

we had a fight.

2009-04-08T03:39:00.000-07:00

my dear friend...
do you actually know wat you've done it wrongly?
y am i keep saying dat i am right u were wrong?
i dunno wat actually u've say to leon. but the thing dat i ensure is, ur attitude dat causes u like dat.
WE WEREN'T WRONG!! this is the thing dat i can say it. U said sorry, when u were not sincere and u even dunno wat u've done, wrongly... it is totally useless!!!
it is useless to me when u din feel u were guilty. i won't accept the "sorry" ...
it is ur fault for being so unresponsible when u keep breaking my promise again and again...
i hate to tell u dat, "i hate people who ruin my things/ my plan or anythings". I hate it so much!
if u keep on ur attitude like dis, better emerge of itself, perish of itself and run ur course by ur self!
no one will allow ur fucking attitude like dat! no one will tolerate ur unreasonable temper. u aren't a person who really reasonable.. u dun speak reason. u lost ur temper whenever u wan and whenever u like it.. i had totally no idea with u when u do dat to me!!
maybe i am too exaggarate with it, but... u do have some self-analyzment and think it over.. think dat again and again and see which part u've done it wrong!
i am not obligate u to correct ur attitude and ur behaviour immediately... but the things that i only hope is u.. can really understand my difficulties...
i had a very terrible bad temper too... u knew it as well.. but, if ur reason is reasonable.. speak it out and say it to me.. so that i can accept it!!
i know dat u easily lost ur temper when someone offend u.. but, we DIDN'T..
i appreciate our frenship, i care it, i mind it... i hope dat our frenzship will be long lasting.. no expiry date!!! and friendship forever...

my dear...

2009-04-03T07:42:00.000-07:00

My dear hubby...
Thanks for lending me ur shoulders when I am down... I'm really sad today just because of those "sister". I wonder why I have such sister.. people said dat, fate dat lead us to be a family. own the relationship. and because of money, and every single of relationship will be vanished like dat? I do think so...
But dear... I hope dat will not happen within us.. Because I truly believe dat, u will not treat me like that... and I believe you that u will love me with all ur heart in every single momment. Just like I miss you and Love ya...
Dear... I truely emphasize dat... I will love you and accompany you to the end of the day of us...
love you and miss you...muackzzz..

And this is wat we call as "sister"!

2009-04-03T03:15:00.000-07:00

"when are you going to return money to me? I wan to go penang shopping." and this is the first thing u ask me when u sign in into ur msn for a long time.
yaya.. and this is the most annoying word I ever heard before! I hate this when u say this to me! you know wat? when u are in trouble, who helps u out?
and u keep annoy me when I'm in real trouble? and rush me to pay back the money to u and u just wana go shopping? Do you think for others?
I hate u.. I tell u wat.. I hate u!!! despise u!! disown u! I would NEVER HELP U AGAIN!!! NEVER EVER!
I wonder why... my frenz will be better than u! at least they won't rush me to return the money when I am in real trouble! At least they really care for me.. asking me, whether do u have enought money to eat? if u have no money, then just tell me.... or u can lend from me. then return when u r enough! although they are not very rich, but, this is wat we call as friendship! Friendship is better than kindred. Is dat the most funny thing u ever heard before? yes I do...
U ask urself... do u really do something to touched me? do u done something before just to care bout me? If u dare to say yes, I dare to knee on you, and chop down my fucking head for u to sit on it!!!!!
All the thing u do for me is... annoy me when I am not in mood, makes me trouble when I'm in trouble, rush me to return money when I'm really poor....
And this we call "sister"????
hahahahahaha.... wat a funniest thing I ever heard!
If can, let it be non kindred with me! if I could choose, I rather dun wan U to be my sister! useless, hopeless sister..
Let me tell u, if I'm poor and need to beg out for my food, I swear to the god will not beg till front of you! I swear it with my head!!!!
and... don u ever think that u come to get the fucking help from me. I swear that I won't help u up when u are real in trouble! I will totally ignore u! get the fuck off and get ur boyfren up to help u!
dun u ever think that i will help u out again!!!

My dear little Creamoz..

2009-03-31T04:03:00.000-07:00

My dear little cutie..

You are my present that gives from my hubby. I love you more than myself. You are a cute little girl that i never loves before!

You are a bad little girl that I ever hate! You are naughty, just becuse you always bite my rubbish and my *** everywhere and leaves me a mess!!!.... So.. sure whacked by me! hahaha..

I hope you will as lovely as your mom and hope you will grow up with a very healthy life.