i quarrel again with u...

why do i have to quarrel with u all the time?
i am tired enough to quarrel with u... really tired.
today,
i am asking a penny from u... and u grumble...
i send a message:
do u think that i spent so much? the money that u are goin to send for me is the middle month money isn't it? do u think that 70 will be enough? fine now, i dont need u to send me the money anymore, i will figure out myself... my 500 i spend it on my NEW PHONE, do u satisfy with the answer? u knw wat? i HATE when i take money from u, i hate to quarrel. if i m given the chances to choose, for sure i will choose not to take from u. do u nmotice that i was starving because i save money for other usage? one more question, u ask in ur heart, do u think u r fair enought for threathening me? can i assume that the money u gave is a concern or a love from u? so, from now onwards, no matter when u give me money, or what is the amount of the money, or even u dun feel like giving the money, it will be ok for me. i will not beg like a beggar and hear something that irritates my ear.
second message:
u keep compare and compare me with the others. oppsitely, do i make a comparation between u with others? all i knew was, i had one mom, the only one. i shall never deny it. i saw something that warm my heart. i saw my housemate, her whole familycame and visit. she lost her phone, then i was thinking, that if i lost my phone, for sure u will scold me like hell and not just bring me the phone without grumble. am i right? and ther parents brought her a new phone! their concern for their daughter are much more than i expects. it touches my heart deeply. touches the deepest place in my heart. i shall never imagine that one day my parents will do that. cause i knew the circumstances doesn't allowed me to imagine it. reason? coz i had an utterly hopeless useless dad. i didn't blame anyone as well. all i want was, a little concern or even a sharing love from u?
*do i sound selfish?
then, ur reply:
i already told u that from last few months, u have to understand or appreciate when i gave u the money, u never say thank you. *do i taught to say thank u? i have to pay may's expenses too, don't be selfish and think only for urself like ur dad. *i din ask for more. never bother to call me if u have money*i was wondering that, do u call me either?, u sms me when u need money, everybody knows that. what am i? an atm machine?*if u insist to think that, i am speechless.. last time i used to bank in for u by 20th every month, can't u remember that? u said u settle urself, u thought u are so capable without taking the rm 500?* are u daring me? do u really think i will dead without you? did u beg me early this month when we are not talking?* u said we are not talking, and if i beg means? u will ignored!! when i beg, the irritating words for sure will come out from ur mouth! u didn't call me during that time, did u beg me? moreover, ur dad didn't even give me a single cent to me. now we are in debt, borrowing from othres, don't u know? be grateful person, dun grumble too much!

i am very dissapointed in what u have write today...
i thought wat i've express will really makes u understand.
but, it makes the distance farer...
i am down, sad... speechless...